I am NOT a lesbian.

I hate the word lesbian. Ugh. It just sounds yucky. Ever since I came out of my disorganized closet I have resented that word. I can't exactly explain why I don't like it. Perhaps for me it carries some negative stereotypes of the type of lesbians I can't stand. (Disclaimer: I don't like [most] lesbians.)

My friends made up a term for me. Gaydie. Gay+Lady. It seems to work. I just don't understand why you have to label everything. But I'm too out of shape to be jumping up on my soap box right now so I'll save that rant for later.

Anyway, I am starting to fear that my utter dislike for all things stereotypically lesbian is being compromised by the lesbian Mecca that is Noho. I was sure I was going to make it out alive when I managed to avoid the flannel phase. However, things started to go downhill when I bought a pair of work boots. I found myself rationalizing, "Well, they are quite practical for the unpredictable weather of New England. And really, they aren't that bad...I mean I'm not going from work boots to mountain dyke...right?!"

I still have the work boots. And I like them. But since I have gotten the work boots I have found myself wanting a cat. Now this my have something to do with my seemingly life-long decent into single-ness, but I fear that this yearning for a cat is this little lesbian monster inside me dying to come out (pun intended). I mean I think I would never decorate my life with rainbow kitty stickers or make shirts with pictures of me and my cats. But I just cannot be sure. I'm sure Boo Bear would intervene if I ever made it to that level of lesbian-ness, but he is 2 hours away...he might not see it coming.

Now, I would be more inclined to get a cat if this third factor didn't appear recently. I keep finding myself looking at Subaru cars. Yikes! I keep justifying it with the fact they are good cars with all wheel drive and quite safe. But oh the shame! I would really be a lesbian then. A cat lady, mountain dyke, in a Subaru. Or just a resident of Noho.