A Letter to the Republican Candidates

To whom it may concern (pretty much talking to you Newt and Mitt):

First off, I know its not just Republicans who discriminate against the gays, but I'm going to pick on them because they have been put in the spotlight recently due to their desperate attempts to become president.

I'll start with you, Newt. I get it. You are a social conservative. And thats totally fine. To each their own. I personally chose not to discriminate but if that is your thing, whatever. But here is the thing, for the love of God PLEASE stop talking about the sanctity of marriage being in jeopardy if the gays can get married. I mean, really? The divorce rate is around 50% for heterosexual couples.  And you sir, have had two of them already because, quite frankly, you couldn't keep it in your pants. A little hypocritical don't ya think? I'm all for everyone having their own opinions and I know not everyone is for gay marriage ( I still don't really understand why not, if you don't like gay marriage, don't get one...) but I really think it would be privy of you to shut up about it.  Every time I hear you talk about how we must defend marriage I want to slam my head against a wall. Its like a dentist telling you to floss when they themselves have terrible teeth. Why would I listen to someone who obviously isn't practicing what they are saying they believe?

Now you, Mitt, you really pissed me off today. Not that I would vote for you, but you at least had me listening. I'm pretty open to all sorts of political ideas and for the most part you seem to know what you are talking about. When you stood up in NH and said you don't discriminate against homosexuals I almost kind of believed you, even though I know you don't support gay marriage. Then I find out today you donated a good amount of money to an organization, which believes homosexuality can be cured. And they children should be protected from all things gay. And that transgendered people do not deserve equal rights. C'monnnnnn Mitt! I know you are not a dumb man (verdict is still out on Newt...) so how can you possibly stand in front off all of us and say you don't discriminate and then go home and write out a check supporting a group which discriminates?! I'm sure you see the connection here. You are allowed to do with what you want in your personal life and are entitled to your own opinions, but DO NOT lie to the gay community and tell us we are safe in your hands. That you will not discriminate against us. Because you already have. At least Newt is honest.

I know I will not be changing any views here today. I doubt you will even ever see this. But on the off chance you do I want you both to understand a few things. Most importantly, the gay community is NOT comprised of second class citizens. We deserve equal rights just as much as any one else. We are NOT a threat to marriage or anything else for that matter. We are only asking for what we see our heterosexual friends and family already have (and didn't have to ask for).

I understand you have your own views, and while I would love to change them I know I can't. All I am asking is really think about what you are saying. Think about all the gay youth out there being bullied and about how much your actions and words hurt them. Do not lie to us. Do not tell us you won't discriminate. Do not threaten my rights. Do not tell us being gay is a choice.

Maybe you both should walk a day in our shoes and then talk to us about discrimination.

All my gay love,
J.

An Ode to Allies

I was in the library yesterday watching a Justin Bieber on Ellen clip on youtube (don't hate, he was giving money to a poor school, it was very moving). I was minding my own business while wearing those giant headphones the library rents out and shedding a few tears at the endless generosity of J. Beibs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the librarian who was previously showing my friend pictures of her dog on Facebook. When I looked over a picture of two women in formal attire (one of the woman was in a tie) was up on the screen. The librarian smiled, pointed to the picture, and said to me, "See! That is my sister and her partner! I just wanted to let you know I am an ally!"

In typical me fashion, I had no idea what to say, so I said, "Oh, why thank you. We really appreciate your support."

What? Really? Yes. This happened. And I didn't know how to feel about it. I still don't really but here are some of my thoughts around this peculiar interaction.

I had addressed my clothing style but just as a refresher, I wear boys clothes and have short hair. While I have no doubt in my mind this woman's heart was in the right place, my initial reaction was to be a bit thrown off at her assumption of my sexuality. Not only that, but I was caught off guard that this woman felt it okay to not only assume my sexuality, but broadcast it to people around me. Now, I am not one to hide my sexual orientation and am always open to discussion and I know they way I dress and act leads most people to assume I am gay (well they probably think, "lesbian" but we all know I do not identify as such...). I guess my question is, where is the line between private assumptions and public statements? I don't really know.

As I continued to sit and think about her decision to publicly let me know she supports the gay community I began to wonder, isn't this exactly what we need? More non-gay people willing to speak up in support of gay rights? Now perhaps the librarian went about this in an incredible strange manner, but what it boils down to is this is a heterosexual person who supports her homosexual peers. As a LGBTQ community we can yell and scream about equal rights all day, but unless people outside the community hear us, we will not get very far.

For me it came down to this, if I have to have awkward interruptions such as this in order for allies to have their voices be heard then I'm willing to take one for the team. In a society that is continuing to marginalize the gay community and take away our rights we need every person on our side as possible. We need the allies. We need people willing to stand up and say, "I'm not gay but I refuse to let my gay friends be discriminated against!"

So, to all the allies out there, THANK YOU! Your support is endlessly appreciated. But next time, try to not show you support in a manner that would be parodied on, "shit straight people say to gay people." :)

Let's try this again...

So it’s been a while. Sorry about that. I’m not going to make excuses for my lack of blogging. Its just I became really busy. And there was the move. Oh, and I started grad school. And I had to go to PT. And my cat had a cold. And there were Netflix documentaries to watch. And I was working a lot. But like I said, I’m not going to make excuses.

I’ve been reading a few other blogs lately and I realized mine is lame. All these kids have these crazy blogs with pictures or other media clips. My adult friends read these thought provoking blogs with intense meanings and heart wrenching stories. I have a blog about…well…I’m not entirely sure.

This all started because Boo Bear said I was funny. Maybe that’s my problem. I received what was probably an off-hand compliment not really intended to have much meaning behind it (like when you tell someone you like their ugly shirt) and instead of just letting in roll of me I let that comment go right up to my head. All of a sudden I was sure I was the funniest person ever and obviously it was my duty as a new comedian to share my hysterical jokes with everyone in the world wide web. 

This worked for me for a while. I did have some funny things to say. But then I would get drunk and post about the humdrum life of a poor, single, fat queer in Noho. Then I was trying to hard to be funny. Maybe I did become too busy when I moved, started grad school, and had to go to PT, and so on. Or maybe I became caught in a negative whirlwind of emotions and lost my ability to see the lighter side of life.

I can try to lie and tell you it was my busy lifestyle preventing me from writing. But I have never been a good liar. You try growing up Irish Catholic where guilt is served as a side dish to every meal and you’ll feel bad about lies too. So, to be honest my dear reader(s), I stopped writing because I stopped seeing the humor in the simple happenings of day-to-day life. But then something happened. I moved into a wonderful new house where I am spoiled with hysterical roommates and a breath taking view. I started grad school (in occupational therapy) and I found myself at home in academia for the first time in a long time. I went through months of PT and my shoulder finally began to heal and became less painful. I have watched endless documentaries, which have opened my eyes to new ideas and helped me laugh at old trends. And then I realized all these “excuses” for not writing my blog were in fact setting me up to undergo a quarter life transformation.

Well, I’m back. I’m now 25, still poor, still single, and still gay. The only thing I can promise you over the course of the year is only the latter will stay consistent. I have no idea what my posts will be about. I’m sure they will all be around social issues some with a comedic twist and others on a more serious note.