I grew up Catholic, very Catholic, like my dad went to the seminary and was 6 months away from being ordained a priest Catholic. My dads college buddies, aka priests, were frequent dinner guests. We went to church every Sunday and every holy day of obligation. My dad sings in the Sunday morning folk group. My mom is a Eucharistic Minister and CCD teacher.
But is not just my parents that are very Catholic. I was once a holy roller. I had numerous shirts and accessories with WWJD inscribed on them. I enjoyed going to church every Sunday. I was active in the youth group. I was a CCD teacher. I had many Christian rock CD's. I read the Bible for fun. I still can recite most of the standard prayers. And I still consider myself Catholic.
But my faith has changed. I still believe in Jesus, and God and the Holy Spirit. I believe in the power of prayer. How can I not? The amount of things my family has overcome can only be explained by divine intervention. I still enjoy going to mass now and then. I appreciate that no matter how crazy my life can get I can go into any Catholic church and the mass will be the same. It is a constant in my life that I appreciate. It is my version of meditation.
People often ask if it was difficult to grow up in such a rigid, rule following, strict Catholic upbringing. Honestly, I'm glad that is how I was raised. Sure, I lost a few good years to conservative thinking. And sure, I'm still jaded by Catholic thought. I still am ashamed of sex, won't eat meat on Fridays during Lent, suffer incredible amounts of guilt, and have a few lingering conservative political views. But growing up Catholic also gave me strong convictions. It taught me to care for those less fortunate then me. It taught me that things will work out in the end if you just put your trust in God.
People don't understand how I can be gay and Catholic. Let me tell you its not easy. I don't regularly attend church because I feel judged by those around me. I do not agree with the institution that religion has become. I firmly believe that only He can judge me. I love my family and friends. I do my best to live my life as a good person. And sure, I mess up. But let he who has not sinned throw the first stone (hey Bible verse!). I understand the Catholic view that homosexuality is wrong, I just don't agree with it. I think that years of misinterpretations has bred ignorance.
People will throw Bible versus at the gays telling them to repent. Maybe instead they should read the Bible and see that one message is clear, love each other.
