An Ode to Allies

I was in the library yesterday watching a Justin Bieber on Ellen clip on youtube (don't hate, he was giving money to a poor school, it was very moving). I was minding my own business while wearing those giant headphones the library rents out and shedding a few tears at the endless generosity of J. Beibs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the librarian who was previously showing my friend pictures of her dog on Facebook. When I looked over a picture of two women in formal attire (one of the woman was in a tie) was up on the screen. The librarian smiled, pointed to the picture, and said to me, "See! That is my sister and her partner! I just wanted to let you know I am an ally!"

In typical me fashion, I had no idea what to say, so I said, "Oh, why thank you. We really appreciate your support."

What? Really? Yes. This happened. And I didn't know how to feel about it. I still don't really but here are some of my thoughts around this peculiar interaction.

I had addressed my clothing style but just as a refresher, I wear boys clothes and have short hair. While I have no doubt in my mind this woman's heart was in the right place, my initial reaction was to be a bit thrown off at her assumption of my sexuality. Not only that, but I was caught off guard that this woman felt it okay to not only assume my sexuality, but broadcast it to people around me. Now, I am not one to hide my sexual orientation and am always open to discussion and I know they way I dress and act leads most people to assume I am gay (well they probably think, "lesbian" but we all know I do not identify as such...). I guess my question is, where is the line between private assumptions and public statements? I don't really know.

As I continued to sit and think about her decision to publicly let me know she supports the gay community I began to wonder, isn't this exactly what we need? More non-gay people willing to speak up in support of gay rights? Now perhaps the librarian went about this in an incredible strange manner, but what it boils down to is this is a heterosexual person who supports her homosexual peers. As a LGBTQ community we can yell and scream about equal rights all day, but unless people outside the community hear us, we will not get very far.

For me it came down to this, if I have to have awkward interruptions such as this in order for allies to have their voices be heard then I'm willing to take one for the team. In a society that is continuing to marginalize the gay community and take away our rights we need every person on our side as possible. We need the allies. We need people willing to stand up and say, "I'm not gay but I refuse to let my gay friends be discriminated against!"

So, to all the allies out there, THANK YOU! Your support is endlessly appreciated. But next time, try to not show you support in a manner that would be parodied on, "shit straight people say to gay people." :)